Behind the Grindstone: Stranded

To celebrate their anniversary
They had went on a cruise
Bob said he figgered
He didn’t have much to loose

And Sally was excited
Thought it’d be a welcome change
From buildin’ fence and feedin’ cattle
Out there on the range

But they had become shipwrecked
Which happens once in a while
And found themselves washed up
On a deserted isle

And there was nothin’ on this island
Nothin’ but rocks and sand
No tree, no grass, no weeds
Just barren rocky land

And Bob was getting’ hungry
And there was nothin’ to eat
And he sure had a hankerin’
For a chunk of roasted meat

Sally looked around
And said under her breath
At least we didn’t drown
But I reckon we’ll starve to death

About that time a bottle
Washed up on the shore
I’m sure most of you have heard
Stories like this before

Sally pulled the cork
A little whiff of smoke arose
Out of it stumbled a genie
In warn and tattered clothes

He seemed to be as old as dirt
And walked with a cane
Each step he took
Seemed to bring him pain

He said, “I’ve just got one wish left
See how easily I tire
As soon as this wish is over
I think I will retire”

“So go ahead and wish
Lets get this underway
As you can plainly see
I’m getting’ older every day”

Sally said, “We want off this island
Take us back home
Out there on the prairie
Where our cattle roam”

He looked off in the distance
Says, “It’s a long ways to shore
And I just don’t have
The strength any more”

“I’m gonna need some help
And I’ll have to wander around
To see if I can find
Some bottles run aground”

“It may take a while
To round up a genie crew
I’m shore gonna have
Some cork poppin’ to do”

He said, “I won’t let you starve
It would go on my record
And I’ve seen what happens to genies
Who have their record checkered”

“After all these years
I’ve never faced prosecution
But I am thinkin’
I have a simple solution”

“I’ll share a special gift
That was given to me
Whatever you call a thing
That’s what that thing will be”

“Which of you does the cookin”
Sally says, “I do”
“Then,” he says, “The gift I’m givin’
I’ll give the gift to you”

“This gift that I givin’
Be careful how you use it
It could be right serious like
If you were to abuse it”

Sally said to a rock
“You are a roast
And to another
You are a pile of Texas toast”

To another, “You’re a baked tatter
Along with sour cream”
This was all workin’
Like it was a dream

She turned to the genie
Says, “Thank you for this favor
You have been so helpful
You are a life saver”

At least, that’s the view here from behind the grindstone.