As this year is coming to a close, today I find myself caught up in reflection. There were so many good things that happened, and simultaneously some of the worst and most painful times I’ve ever experienced. Things that I’ve prayed for came to pass, and some things didn’t. However, I’m not bitter, because I know God’s ways are better.
This year, we finally got to have Christmas in a home, finally able to bless our children with plenty of toys because they now have the room to store them. We made cookies and Christmas candies because we have the capacity to do so! So many wonderful and beautiful things happened for me this year. But if I can be honest, part of me is grieving.
This was a year where I had to burn bridges with people I cared about. I had hopes that were yet again delayed. Promises that have yet to be fulfilled. I’ve grieved with many others who have lost people they loved, leaving no map to follow to see how it will be possible to move forward without them.
I am grateful to have another year in the books, and relieved this one is nearly over but also grieved for the chapters that closed. Like in a book when some of your favorite characters die, it completely changes the story. And you will go on reading, with their absence in your mind. As difficult the things that I’ve been through have been, I can honestly say this year for me, topped them all.
Over the last few months, I’ve had to withdraw completely, and strip back all the layers of the battle I’ve been fighting through, so I could re-examine my heart and my motives, to find that this year has left me with yet more strongholds in my mind that have to be uprooted and subjected to the knowledge of Christ. I have found bitterness, and resentment toward God for not fulfilling His promises in MY timeline.
So as I have been resting, I have been re-centering myself, and regathering my strength in Him. And though I still grieve over those I can’t take with me, I still look ahead with great hope.
There are promises that are still waiting to be filled, and I am allowing myself to be excited with great anticipation, because even though it may be delayed, God is always faithful to bring His promises to pass. More faithful to keep them than I am to believe Him for them.
There are so many dreams and words and visions He’s given me, despite the wounds, the scars, or whatever the losses that 2021 has given you, I can tell you with great confidence; The future is so bright and more beautiful than you can imagine.
You are immeasurably loved by the ultimate keeper of promises!
So set your hope on things above! And wait on Him for He is faithful to complete that which He has promised!
The best is yet to come.
Behold, He has made all things new.
