In my younger days friends could dare me to do something, and I’d just blow it off, but if they were really serious, they’d double-dog dare me. You couldn’t just ignore a double-dog dare—no, that was grounds for being called an epic coward. Plus, it was a challenge to your boldness. So, of course, when a double-dog dare left their lips, your ears went into high alert to soak in every detail of what you were about to do. I promise this is going to go somewhere; patience, my friend, we’ll revisit this later.
I’ve noticed in myself and a growing number of people around me that negative feelings about life are on the rise with little to no relief in sight. This can look like a bad day, bad attitude, anxiety, depression, frustration, etcetera. It’s made me think about why I get so easily agitated and seem to stay that way. Why is it so incredibly difficult to pull myself out of the blues once they start? Where does this overwhelming feeling of hopelessness come from, and how do I pull myself out of it?
I’d love to say, “Never fear, I’m an expert,” and then tell you all how to fix your mindsets. However, I’m not, and I’m just trying to figure this life out as I go like everyone else. Fortunately, though, I do have some insights that I hope help you like they’ve helped me. I still have my fair share of gloomy days, but I seem to be able to pull myself out of them much faster than I have in the past. Obviously, if you’ve been reading my work or know me, you know the credit for anything good in my life will be attributed to my Heavenly Father. I’m going to focus more, for now, on the process of how I took my life back.
It’s honestly a pretty simple concept and not one that originated from me. I’m not the first to think of or even talk about it, but I still think it’s worth sharing in case it can help anyone. Gratitude. Yep, that’s it. It sounds simple. It sounds like common sense. If that’s true, though, why is it so difficult for us to do it? I know it takes all I have some days to be grateful for anything even though I have a million little things to be thankful for.
As a teacher, I’ve read research studies for years on the effect gratitude has on rewiring the brains of people who have suffered with long term mental health issues. It’s pretty compelling stuff, yet that’s not what our society does. Hmmm, I wonder why? I definitely have my own opinions on the money-racket that is the American healthcare system, but that’s a story for another time. At the end of the day, that’s an excuse. It’s up to us to take our control back. Stop owning your issues like you’re at the mercy of them. YOU ARE POWERFUL! Own it!
Let’s rewire our brains! The key is consistency and making yourself, especially when you don’t feel like it. Start small but be disciplined. Go ahead and vent. Express your feelings, then take charge again. Find one thing, just one, that you’re thankful for. It doesn’t have to be some grandiose list. Honestly, at one of my lowest points, I told myself and God that I was grateful for my boys. That was it—I couldn’t think of another thing. That doesn’t mean there weren’t plenty of other blessings to count. I was just so down I couldn’t think of them because I was focused on the mountain of negatives piling up around me.
Slowly but surely, I built on that one-item list. You know what happened as I did that? I actually started to recognize those blessings no matter how important or insignificant. It happened without me even trying to consciously do so. Eventually, my attitude towards life started to change for the better. Some of my energy and will to live life returned. I had more days where I got up and did something rather than sit around, cry, and sleep. I started taking care of myself again, little bits at a time.
I’m not here to tell anyone I’ve got it all figured out and that all my days are full of rainbows and sunshine. It’s still a battle at times, but I no longer wonder when I’m going to feel better. Now, I give myself time to feel the feelings, but I limit it (for me, it’s no more than a day, max). Then, I start praising God through prayer. I tell Him out loud everything I can think of that I’m thankful to Him for from trivial nothings to some of the most awe-inspiring blessings He has rained.
The result? My blessings have multiplied. I’ve had people pop into my life out of nowhere and do things I could never have imagined. The bad events don’t get me down as much—sometimes they don’t even phase me. Does that mean I’m problem free and my life is charmed? Not in the least. It’s still an ugly struggle at times, but I remember that there is a rainbow promised on the other side of every storm now. I don’t have to remind myself; I just know it.
So, as promised…I double-dog dare you to stop being a victim. I double-dog dare you to take your power back. I double-dog dare you to retrain your brain. I double-dog dare you to take the action of saying out loud to yourself and God what you’re grateful for in your life even if it’s not much, and it’s hard to think of anything. I double-dog dare you to make a habit out of it. I double-dog dare you to take your joy back.
“Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” — 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
