Grit & Grace: Speak Life

Most of us have dreams and aspirations that we’re working toward in this life. I take mine to God, pray, and work for what I’m believing Him for. I’ve always been this independent, “just watch me do it” person. If it’s not working, I work harder. If life gives me a raw deal, I pick up extra work to make ends meet. If something doesn’t work out, I pivot, put my head down, and work harder in another direction. I think work ethic is admirable, but God’s been working on me for the better part of a year to convince me that working myself to death is not truly believing or trusting Him for anything—it’s me trying to control it in my own, human way.

That’s been more than a tough lesson for me to learn, but I’m still trying. My stubborn streak has been a battle to overcome in itself. Late last summer, the Holy Spirit basically told me that while working hard has been a good quality in my life to this point, if I want to elevate to the next level, I need to practice true faith and belief. No more working to distract myself from the baggage I need to sit with and feel. I’m great at telling others to relax and let God; now it’s time for me to walk that walk myself.

The internal battle with my mind and truly surrendering has been and continues to be a daily one. Some days I feel like I’ve almost overcome my mentality, while on others I feel like I’ve lost before I ever get started. I’ve been praying about this fight within myself obsessively since spring break began, and God convicted me further. I’ve been sitting with the phrase “the power of YOUR tongue” since last weekend. I’ve asked the Holy Spirit what that means and how to understand what I’m supposed to get out of that. As always, God has delivered.

I’ve been bombarded with quotes, devotionals, friends’ nonchalant comments, and scripture since my inquiry. I know there is power in the tongue, of course, but I wanted specifics. Well, I got them. I “try” to have faith and believe God for the blessings that I can literally feel in my soul are on the way. Yet, I keep falling short. Why? The answer: MY TONGUE. Rather than speaking life over myself, I tend to speak death. It’s my defense mechanism that I’ve clung to for most of my lfe—if I hurt my own feelings first, no one else can hurt or disappoint me. That process just isn’t going to serve me any longer.

Sounds great, doesn’t it? If it were only that simple to unlearn an internal dialogue that has been my constant companion for so long. Recently in my time spent sitting with the LORD, He asked me if He’s ever failed to come through for me when I needed Him. He asked me if I was living in the blessings of prayers I prayed in the past. Whoa! I deserved that. I’m always thankful for what He’s done in my life, but not like I should be. I’ve lost sight of the absolute miracles He’s worked right before my eyes. He then asked why I wouldn’t believe Him for whatever is next. As a result of His tough, truthful discipline of me, I’ve been working to speak life over myself instead of killing my blessings by not believing that they can be for me.

If you can relate to this in some way, I’d like to share a scripture about that with you that is helping me. It’s going to have to become a daily discipline in order to make it a new habit and way of thinking, but I believe that it is exactly what I need to rise up. Proverbs 18:20-21 reads, “From the fruit of the mouth a person’s stomach is filled; with the harvest of their lips they are satisfied. The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” Let’s eat sweet fruit instead of bitter disappointment. When we find ourselves starting to complain or speak negative thoughts aloud, let’s rebuke that and speak hope and light over ourselves. Imagine the change that’s coming when we do that!