Have you ever given someone solid advice, achieved something great, or stood out where you never have before? Then, rather than feeling accomplished, grateful, or blessed, you feel like a hypocrite? What makes us feel that way when we help someone else outside of our own power? Honestly, we have to know that God had a hand in that success. Even giving Him all the glory for it, though, doesn’t always make those feelings go away. Why is that? Why do we feel like fakes just because we aren’t perfect in every way?
Why when we choose to follow the LORD, do we tend to be our own worst critics? Why do others tend to hold us to this unsustainable level? Christ followers are not perfect—no human can be. Christ followers are some of the most broken, sinful people you may ever meet with some of the most amazing testimonies. They (we) just realize that He is greater than their (our) imperfections. Looking at someone’s highlight reel might be inspiring, but that’s rarely an honest picture.
Thank goodness that He provides a love like no one on earth can. It doesn’t mean that we don’t have love in our lives or that we don’t try to love like Christ, but let’s get real—we don’t have the capacity to possess the love that God does. There’s still nothing wrong with trying to stretch ourselves as far as possible in that direction despite that fact. Even if we fall short, we’re better off and closer to Him, which should be the goal anyway.
I’m rambling on about these feelings and God’s love for us because, in the end, it’s all that matters. Our feelings don’t matter—yes, I’m a Gen-Xer, but that’s not the only reason why I say that our feelings don’t matter. This contention of mine is based on God’s word that we have self-control, are slow to anger, and return wrath with gracious calmness. I’m telling you from personal experience, that’s some of the hardest work you’ll ever do.
I’ve had to control my emotions in what seems like a million different situations over the past several years, and when I’ve succeeded in doing so, I’ve been victorious. I could also share a vast number of instances when I failed because I tended to wear my emotions/heart on my sleeve and spewed words long before any rational thoughts had a chance to form. In those times, things never turned out right. I felt good for a second (sometimes), and then it was all worse in the end.
My point is that life is hard for every single one of us. It doesn’t matter if you’re a non-believer or a believer. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been a devout follower of Christ your whole life or if you’re newly trying to find your way closer to Him. It’s tough. The hope in all of this is that God will transform you if you allow Him to, and that makes all the difference in the world. You and your life and the way you view that life will all change in ways you could have never planned yourself.
You learn to handle every situation differently than you used to, and it does get easier, but you’ll still have times when that humanness in you resurfaces. Guess what? That’s okay! I saw a T-shirt design that you may see me sporting at some point because I laughed and fell in love with it instantly, but I think it sums me up. It has a raccoon on it and says, “Still Feral, Just Forgiven.” No truer words could be said about me. Sometimes I don’t even get what in the world I’m doing over here.
I don’t know how God does it, but He does. I’m so incredibly grateful for His loving forgiveness and patience with me. So, the next time you feel like you don’t deserve the accolades you might receive (even if you receive them humbly and give the glory to God), or you fall victim to someone trying to make you feel small for doing something wonderful, please remember that you’re not an imposter. You’re just one of God’s miraculous works in progress. You’re still here, so you still have a purpose in Him. That’s something to celebrate out loud!
